DON'T WORRY! JUST FART!

"Here's a litte song I wrote!
You don't want to
learn it note for note.
Don't worry!
Just fart!"

I was just getting off my train at Quincy Center when I saw a bunch of guys dressed in Pampers with little red sashes over their shoulders that said "Happy Valentine's Day from Pampers!" It struck me then that the financial firm I used to work for, Pelligrini Investments, 10 years ago, they asked all the men to dress up as Dan Cupid for Valentine's Day. The people at Pampers sent a good chunk of us guys a pair of their diapers and a "Be My Valentine" sash.
I guess it all started when our HR director at the time, Mrs. Clausen, came into the mail area where I worked and said, "The Company has set the theme for Valentine's Day. The men are coming in dressed in Pampers with little red sashes over their shoulders."
This got me pretty upset and some of the guys started teasing me. I recoiled at the thought of going into work half naked on Valentine's Day. And sure enough, the following Wednesday, the company had sent a package with the pair of Pampers and the sash over. I was so disgusted I threw it into the trash and called in sick that day. I thought they were kidding, but when I saw that box, I found they were serious about it.
I was called into the office and the boss canned me as a result. Fortunately, I got a job two weeks later with the accounting firm I'm employed at today. Well, my rejecting this "theme for Valentine's Day" was well founded. The stock market lost 855 points that day, and the fact that Pelligrini Investments male employees were dressed as Dan Cupid caused the meltdown. The ladies, incidentally, were dressed in flowing Greek robes, portraying them as Greek Goddesses. I won't explain that part of the story...yet!

I didn't say a word to them as I passed them by. I scoffed what they were doing and walked out to the bus platform. As I got on the bus to the South Shore Plaza, a bunch of drunks got off at the back door. It was apparent they'd been drinking after work while waiting for their bus ride home. Now here they were throwing up all over the platform and making people recoil in horror.
The bus trip to the plaza was uneventful, to begin with....

To be continued.

Meanwhile, back on the satellite....