Thursday, June 23, 2011

HELLO, MISTER MORNING!

"HELLO, Mister Morning!
My favorite time of day!"
The scene is a Silver Bird train on the Red Line where a radio is blaring out a McDonald's commercial.
"Shut the fuck up!" someone says in the crowded Red Line train as it pulls out of Broadway Station on a rainy October morning."
"NEXT STOP," says the computer voice on the train.
"SOUTH STATION!" says another voice.
The train seems to stop every 30 seconds as it rambles through the tunnel before the conductor says over the intercom, "We have a disabled train ahead of us. We apologize for the delay."
"Bullshit!" another passenger yells before the train moves on again.
"ENTERING," the computer voice says.
"SOUTH STATION!" the other voice says. Then, in a more pleasant tone, "Change here for the Commuter Rail and the Silver Line, with service to Logan Airport."
And then the conductor chimes in, "Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. Hope everybody had a good night last night. This is South Station; change here for the commuter rail, Amtrak, Local Bus connections, the Silver Line and intercity buses. Look around yourselves now, gather up all your belongings and make sure you're leaving nothing behind you. Have a great day!"
As the crowd begins flowing out of the train, the conductor yells over the intercom, "We have a bound and nude body on the train. This train is coming out of service! All out, no passengers please."
At the other end of the train, there is screaming and yelling as people scramble out of the car, then everybody rushes out of the train. It's scary to see such a site, but a few minutes later, the nude body of a man who's bound and gagged is found in the last car.
Gross!

2 minutes later another train picks up the still shaken crowd and it continues to drop off its passengers-and pick up some more-as it runs through downtown before heading for Cambridge.
"ENTERING...CHARLES/MGH." the computer voice says before adding, "MASS GENERAL HOSPITAL."
"MASS EYE AND EAR INFIRMARY!" A woman's voice chimes in.
"LAWRENCE WELK MENTAL ASYLUM!" A third voice-this time male-adds. "HOME OF THE BIG BUN!" After a pause, he adds, "ROTTEN WORLD WIDE WRESTLING FEDERATION HEADQUARTERS! WHERE YA BOUGHT THE HAT!"

To be continued...