LIVE FROM BOHEMIAN GROVE!

Meanwhile at the MBTA Control Center, a few of the workers who were burning the midnight oil this Saturday night were watching a live telecast of the Cremation of Care ceremony from the Bohemian Grove encampment in Monte Rio, California. A few days earlier, several Christian cable networks had set up hidden cameras around the theater where the Cremation takes place on the opening weekend of each year's encampment.
As the secret telecast began, the high priest's assistant was intoning, "The Owl is in his leafy temple! Let all within the grove become reverent before him..."
One of the jocks said, "At last, we're finally getting a look at how the super rich bastards spend their summer vacation."
"Weaving spiders come not here!" the high priest shouted before he welcomed the gathering of 2,000 men-no women or children-to "midsummer's joy...attend our tale! Gather, ye forest folk, and cast your spell upon these mortals. Fill their world weary minds with carrion and open their eyes to fancy!" This is the horrible truth of what the government and business elite perform each midsummer in the Grove.
Also planned for the secret webcasts were a few of the "Lakeside Talks," which focused on policy issues for the future, as well as entertainment performed by the Grovers. Nobody knew what was going to unfold as the ceremony ran its course. But as they brought an effigy of "Care" over to the pyre, there was sinister enjoyment being enjoyed by the Grovers.
"Bring fire!" the high priest shouted! "Burn care!"
As they began the cremation, Care shouted out, "When will ye learn...year after year, ye burn me in this grove...but when again, ye turn your faces to the marketplace, don't you find me there waiting as of old?"
"Fire shall have its will of you!" the high priest said.
"Not with these flames...ye fools and priests, I spit upon your fire!"
Well, they lit it up anyway!
"Isn't Mr. Grabauskis at the Grove this week?" the Supervisor asked the jock.
"No," the jock responded. "He's against the whole Bohemian Grove shit since he found out about it 2 years ago."
"...Fellowship!
Upon The Altar
Of Bohemia!"
"Thank you for your counsel, Mr. Owl!"