THE MARCH OF THE TOYS!

There were about 200 men and women dressed in doll outfits marching to a recording of "No Motherland Without You" playing on a large jukebox that was leading the way through the streets of Harvard Square in Cambridge.  The music playing was supplied by the North Korean State Radio and Television Symphony  Orchestra, as well as the North Korean Armed Forces Military Chorus.  Lots of people were watching the charade on the streets.
"Fucking Communists!" one of the people shouted.
"How come?" someone nearby him asked.
"Because they're playing that Kim Jong Il song," the man who yelled at the parade said.  "Those DPRK asswipes play that song for hours on end."
"I thought Kim Jong Il was dead," the other replied.
"Well," the man replied, "they wanna keep the guy's memory alive."

A lot of the children who were watching this were surprised at this and they asked their moms and dads what the meaning of the parade was.  They couldn't answer them honestly.
"Everybody step in time!" the drill master shouted.

At the same time, the Globe Santa had set up their booth outside the Harvard Square T station; they were ready to raise some money for their Christmas campaign.  Just then, someone was coming out of the station shouting, "Bah, humbug!"  They knew it was a Scrooge like person walking into the holiday shoppers that were walking aroundl, trying to cause trouble.
"Bah, humbug!" he shouted. "This whole nonsense is a fraud."
"Merry Christmas, sir," a child bravely wished Scroogel
"Bah, humbug!" the man shouted and stormmed off.  Suddenly, someone in the one of the floats threw a bottle of beer in his head, causing him to bleed profusely.
"Sick ass!" he shouted.
"Get the fuck off me!" the man shouted as the T attendants tried to assist him, so they subdued him and brought him to a nearby office.  Minutes later, an ambulance bore him out of the station.

He wouldn't make it, unfortunately.  He was pronounced dead on arrival at the hospital.  And his soul was weighed down with the chains that he'd forged in his life.

The man who threw the bottle into the Scroogeian was picked up off of the float and taken to a police station near Central Square.  He told how he'd assaulted him earlier in the day as he was getting on his float.
"A likely story," the cop said.
"It's true," a young lady said coming into the station.  "I have the evidence here."
She showed to them a videotape of the incident when the man was attacked by the Scrooge-like person earlier in the day.  However, he couldn't be released immediately because he was being charged with manslaughter in the incident.  Eventually though, he ended up being released on his own recognizance.

His arraignment was set for the following day at 10 a.m.  He never showed up, though.  He was halfway to the Cayman Islands by then.

ANOTHER LIVE FEED FROM BOHEMIAN GROVE!

"Fellowship!
Upon the Altar Of Bohemia!"

Well, there it is, another Cremation of Care film airing live over the CBS Television Network's "The Late Night Dish."  After the dummy is burned, that ragtime band comes out and plays "A Hot Time In The Old Town Tonight," as it's been wont to do for a century or more.  For the first time, there's been a bank of hidden cameras capturing every moment.

"Capture The Moment."
"Afternoon."

UNDERGROUND! (Charlie's off the MTA!)

It's almost 1 a.m. in the morning.  As the wind blows outside on Boston Common, the rain has changed to snow and is becoming steadier and heavier. Heavy snow is now predicted for Boston with about 6 to 12 inches in the area. It started raining 3 hours ago, but now the winds have switched to the North and are increasing to 40 miles per hour.  I'm going into the T station at Park Street where I see a sign saying "Significant Cutbacks!"  The announcement continues with the news that all weekend commuter rail service will be ended next month, and that after March 1st., the T will only operate from 6 a.m. until 12 Midnight Monday through Fridays and 10 a.m. to 12 Midnight on Saturdays, Sundays and holidays.  (There will be no service on Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's Day, as well as Easter Sunday.)
I'm pissed off!  The T's already $12 billion in debt and no one is making any money on the recent fare increases.  I feel like Charlie on the MTA thanks to those fare hikes...
"Look!  There's a corpse on the track!" I hear someone yelling.  I rush over to see that it's the bones of Charlie, the man who never got off the MTA because of not having the fare to get off the train.  Rumor says that he had just sneaked off the trolley here early today, only to get hit by another train going to Boston College.  So after 6 decades, Charlie's finally off the MTBA.

"Did he ever return?"  Nope.

Sucks, doesn't it?  On that tragic and faithful day 60 years ago, he'd handed in his dime at Kendall Square, but couldn't get off because of not having another nickel.  Poor Charlie.  He'd ridden for 6 decades on the T, and he is dead.

Meanwhile, as I get on the train, I feel troubled.  And I weep unashamedly, having seen what I've just described to you.

As I get to the Quincy Center Station, I wipe my tears and walk towards the exit.  I go inside the Nathan's Hot Dog store, which is now open all night during the week.  Inside, the TV is airing the CNN Election Night program.  I realize that it's Election Day here in the USA, and I went to cast my vote earlier today.  Anyway, I'm watching the results coming in from around the country.  And I see a chilling series of headlines coming up on the screen:
"VOTES TIED!"
"OBAMA AND ROMNEY 269 ELECTORAL VOTES APIECE!"
"POPULAR VOTE: 89,000,000 APIECE!"
"NO BALLOT YET FROM BETTIE BOOP!"
"SHE IS THE ONLY ONE IN SUFFOLK COUNTY, MASSACHUSETTS TO HAVE NOT VOTED!"
"HER VOTE WILL DECIDE THE ELECTION!"

Tbe last 215 bus to Ashmont left 2 hours ago, so I decide to get a taxi.  Thank goodness there's one coming up and no one's waiting.  Suddenly, I see a pair of legs appearing in a nearby trash can.  I shout to the cab driver, "Call the police!  There's a pair of legs in the trash can."  He calls 911 as he speeds off to take me home.

A few minutes later, the trash can is emptied, and what is found is a horrible sight.  There's a woman who's been all tied up for hours.  All tied up and a gag in her mouth.  And of course, there are third degree burns over 100% of her body.  She's quickly taken to the hospital for an autopsy.

The next morning, I learn that the charred body of Bettie Boop has been identified at Mass. General Hospital.  The details of her death are too gross to say at this time.  Anyway, that means the Electoral College must decide the outcome on January 2nd.  And once that's codified, it looks as if a runoff election will take place on January 8th.

WELCOME BACK, MY FRIENDS!

"Welcome back, my friends, to the show that never ends!" Yeah, the MBTA is the show that never ends. From a quarter past 5 in the morning until around 12:30 a.m. each night, the T's subways, buses, trolleys and other vehicles run through the city above and below ground. And when they close at night, they have to do all kinds of construction and maintenance work. Now the South/North link was finally beginning construction. This was a nearly 2 mile tunnel that would link the seperate Amtrak and Mass Bay Commuter Rail's northern and southern networks.together and would provide seamless rail transporation between Canada and Florida. The tunnel had to be built out in the harbor, because the space underneath Downtown Crossing was being used for the Silver Line tunnel.

GET OUT OF YOUR HOUSE! PART 2!

There were fights breaking out all over the Plymouth Waterfront as the Jerry Lewis Terethon was showing a memorial tribute to a young naval officer who'd died from Lou Gherig's Disease 2 weeks earlier. His wife was weeping as she related the gory details of his death and how it took a toll on her family. After the film ended, Jerry introduced the now widowed lady who thanked all of the viewers for their support.

The Legion Bud Band had been chased on the stage after the Neo-Nazi attack. Now, a group of ladies with kazooes called The Tooting Tootsies were being booed off by the crowd. One of the ladies threw one of her kazooes into a cop.

Big mistake. The cop arrested her and charged her with assault.

You could have seen the number of people being arrested and brought into the police station in Plymouth over the entire afternoon. Meanwhile, a Pilgrim saw what was going on and mused, "Verily, the mob hath a legion of demons within them!" How many more would be brought in before the day was out?

A number of the protesters were arrested and charged with all kinds of charges from breaking and entering to destruction of property. But still, there were a few who made it back to the commuter rail for the train home. As the festivities continued on the waterfront, dozens more protesters started to come in and began to up the ante.

On the train back, the protesters felt really upset at what had happened during the day. They'd only wanted to protest Jerry Lewis's using of pity to raise money. What they'd done was cause a row, in which thousands had gotten hurt and many more had been arrested.

To be continued...

STOP THE ABORTION MANDATE!

I've kept silent on this for too long, but now I'm gonna shout it out! President Barack Obama is trying to ram through health care legislation that will force you and I to pay for abortions. That's right! Mr. Obama is trying to force the Freedom of Choice Act through so-called "health care reform!"

The new health care bill that's being gunned through Congress is being used to mandate "abortion coverage" with insurance companies being forced to provide insurance for abortion. And it would ration health care, especially towards seniors and persons with disabilities. We must stop Obama from legislating "The Culture of Death!" It is imperative that we speak out on this issue.

I've been listening to a "Stop The Abortion Mandate" webcast this evening, which is telling people about the FOCA legislation that Obama's trying to ram through our Congress.

Please take action on this by visiting http://www.StopTheAbortionMandate.com today for more information. Also, please contact your Congresspeople and Senators in the Congress today and tell them to have abortion excluded from any health care legislation.

I'm glad I didn't vote for President Obama in November, because I knew that he was going to pass this ridiculous bullshit! Yeah, the Democrats have, in the past, helped special needs children, advocated for health care for working families, and helped unions to protect workers' rights. But how can they help working families if they are going to ram through ridiculous legislation like this?

The ObamaCare abortion mandate would ration health care, forcing seniors and persons with disabilities to suffer in silence. It's up to people like you and me to speak up for those who are unable to speak for themselves. Please visit http://www.StopTheAbortionMandate.com and stop the assault on the dignity of human life.

Please pass this legislationt

HELLO, MISTER MORNING!

"HELLO, Mister Morning!
My favorite time of day!"
The scene is a Silver Bird train on the Red Line where a radio is blaring out a McDonald's commercial.
"Shut the fuck up!" someone says in the crowded Red Line train as it pulls out of Broadway Station on a rainy October morning."
"NEXT STOP," says the computer voice on the train.
"SOUTH STATION!" says another voice.
The train seems to stop every 30 seconds as it rambles through the tunnel before the conductor says over the intercom, "We have a disabled train ahead of us. We apologize for the delay."
"Bullshit!" another passenger yells before the train moves on again.
"ENTERING," the computer voice says.
"SOUTH STATION!" the other voice says. Then, in a more pleasant tone, "Change here for the Commuter Rail and the Silver Line, with service to Logan Airport."
And then the conductor chimes in, "Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. Hope everybody had a good night last night. This is South Station; change here for the commuter rail, Amtrak, Local Bus connections, the Silver Line and intercity buses. Look around yourselves now, gather up all your belongings and make sure you're leaving nothing behind you. Have a great day!"
As the crowd begins flowing out of the train, the conductor yells over the intercom, "We have a bound and nude body on the train. This train is coming out of service! All out, no passengers please."
At the other end of the train, there is screaming and yelling as people scramble out of the car, then everybody rushes out of the train. It's scary to see such a site, but a few minutes later, the nude body of a man who's bound and gagged is found in the last car.
Gross!

2 minutes later another train picks up the still shaken crowd and it continues to drop off its passengers-and pick up some more-as it runs through downtown before heading for Cambridge.
"ENTERING...CHARLES/MGH." the computer voice says before adding, "MASS GENERAL HOSPITAL."
"MASS EYE AND EAR INFIRMARY!" A woman's voice chimes in.
"LAWRENCE WELK MENTAL ASYLUM!" A third voice-this time male-adds. "HOME OF THE BIG BUN!" After a pause, he adds, "ROTTEN WORLD WIDE WRESTLING FEDERATION HEADQUARTERS! WHERE YA BOUGHT THE HAT!"

To be continued...